A Word from Wincy by Bob Woodroofe

That Bruce bloke has got a lot to answer for.
If at first you don’t succeed, indeed.
Well we bloody well haven’t, so there.
You try being one of us.
We need all those eyes in the back of our heads
and all those legs to escape with.
All those people that scream and try to squash us.
What have we ever done to them?

As for this bloody drainpipe, it’s beginning to annoy me.
First flash floods, then would you believe, a heatwave.
Talk about try, try and try again.
I’ve done it, well tried to, but why bother.
There’s bound to be a good view from up there,
and I could abseil back down.
Wheeeeeee! But is it really worth it?
Didn’t do him a lot of good, did it.